[Galaxy] [Forrest Outpost OOC] Star Date 216004.01 :: Starfleet News Service Exclusive Coverage]

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Starfleet News Service Exclusive
   from Roving Reporter & Entertainment NewsPunk Rosto VanRipple.

Authorities have released confirmation that Starfleet¹s Fleet Commander,
Admiral Thomas Garroway, has defected to the Orion Syndicate. Sources close
to the Admiral¹s office acknowledged that at 04:16 PDT, the Admiral¹s
shuttle left San Francisco, filing a flight plan to the outer edges of
Tandoran space, where Orion pirates are known to congregate and sing
space-chanties. Sightings from all over the Bay Area report the shuttle
weaving a vapor-trail message ³I am the rocket man, and my future lies
beyond the yellow brick road.² Simultaneously, an obviously doctored image
was released, of the Admiral astride the left nacelle of the ESS Enterprise,
waving his cowboy hat in earnest, as the ship speeds toward a mock up of the
Golden Gate Bridge. It is unknown whether the Admiral¹s significant other,
Admiral Suzanna Batenburg, played any part in this radical departure from
Admiral Garroway¹s usually restrained and competent persona. Some speculate
that the recent birth of his first child, with Admiral Batenburg, may have
precipitated the apparent break from reality.

When asked about her take on Admiral Garroway¹s sudden departure, Cmdr Talia
Brennan, Chief Science Officer at Outpost Maxwell Forrest, said candidly,
³I¹ve been expecting it for some time. He always was just a hippie, born to
late. Besides, after the Fleet, where else could he turn² and she broke into
song, ³It¹s a pirate¹s life for he, don¹t you see, don¹t you see, it¹s a
pirate¹s life for he, Yes Sir, ee. Aaargggggh.²

In other news, LtCmdr Dr Jia Cassidy has resigned her commission and
position was CMO at Outpost Maxwell Forrest to pursue a career as the
dessert chef at a Lay Franciscan Abbey on Mars. She sites irreconcilable
differences as her reason for departing her space-faring career, and an
irresistible desire to corrupt the righteous with chocolate éclairs as her
motivation to take up the role as Prime Pastry Chef at the Eau Claire Abby
on the Red Planet.

It is rumored that Dr Regina Antonini, Counselor at Outpost Maxwell Forrest,
has pulled an engineering degree out of her back pocket and will be assigned
as the Chief Supervising Engineer at the Forrest Shipyards. She insists that
crew and residents of Forrest Outpost will benefit from the short, but
beautiful cruise from the Outpost to the Shipyards to obtained her usual
high quality counseling services, and private airlocks are available for
discriminating, high profile clients who prefer discretion.

Cmdr George Boyle, in an effort to escape the wrath of his bride, made a
record setting 5.72 minute climb of the 7 level high climbing wall in
Forrest Outpost¹s arboretum. This is the fastest recorded climb of any such
structure by man. The Cmdr has been overseeing the construction of the
climbing wall project, which is only approximately 3Ž4 of its planned 9
levels. This achievement will be recognized from his hospital room, as his
wife exceeded the women¹s record of 4.94 minutes and repeatedly stomped on
his fingers from above. The Commander¹s comments from his hospital room
include that he did not think his plans for escaping zombies would have
worked any more effectively against his adversary in this case.

Lt Sean Walker, Chief Armoury Officer at Forrest Outpost, has been awarded a
Shepard¹s Star for his humanitarian efforts in providing meaningful, online
video entertainment to Outpost prisoners and detainees. He confirms that for
some time, he has researched the use of such video role playing as a means
of releasing overt and excessive physical tension and pent up emotional
aggression. He personally designed the course of MOOG (Master Online
Overkill Games), for varying levels of prisoner psychological and physical
conditioning. Captain Thompson, Walker¹s Commanding Officer, praises the
Lieutenant¹s ingenuity and alacrity in providing such an apropos and
effective means of prisoner accommodation. The naturally humble CAO¹s
response was, ³THE Shepard showed me the way.²

Captain Nathan Thompson, Commanding Officer of Outpost Maxwell Forrest, in
keeping with his flair for the dramatic and mysterious, has decline
promotion and departed the Outpost to take up residence at the Yuma Zen
Buddhist Animal Sanctuary. He is citing irreconcilable differences, which
turned his attention toward the ever increasing plight of oppressed and
orphaned small animals. Apparently, he has been a practicing  monk for
several years, and after the recent conflicts with the Romulans, has chosen
to make his connection public and ³do something concrete about my
convictions.² He made a quick collection of all pieces of fur clothing and
accessories from crew and residents, before departing the Outpost. He says
such atrocities as result in furs for sale will be partially redeemed when
such furs are used by rehabilitation workers as bedding for young orphaned
animals who have been ripped from the comfort of their mothers and siblings.
³It is the least I can do to try to bring some balance back into this
wounded galaxy,² says the now bald monk.

We will have more breaking news headlines following this commercial break,
brought to you by Forrest¹s Home Fried Frittatas. ³Faster than flippin¹
fritters, Forrest¹s Frittatas will send you into orbit. Try Œem, you¹ll like
Œem, I gar-on-tee it.²

Happy April Fool¹s Day ..... Love you all.